Holy fucking shit. Last night, while me and Liz and Chris were at Hastings, me and Chris decided "HOLY FUCK IT'S YOU GOT SERVED, WE HAVE TO SEE IT, JUST LIKE GIGLI." Bad fucking mistake. I was going to make a post about it last night, but I was at an utter loss of words. I was too paralyzed by the mixed feelings of depression and anger. This had to be the worst fucking movie that has even been spawned on the fucking planet. I could spend all of eternity writing about how unfuckingbelievably shitty this movie was, so I'll save myself the eternal damnation and make a brief summary. First off, I pledge to my country, that I will hunt down and KILL the amazingly homosexual fucktards known as Wade and Wade's boyfriend. Holy shit, I would rather stab myself in the throat with a spork than watch the part with those 2 dickheads again. If they tried any harder to be black, they would end up with no job, struggling to feed a family of four, living in their mommas house. The acting was on an unbelievable shit scale. If there was a shit acting scale from 1-10, I would give it a number so great, that if you even thought of beginning to pronounce it, the universe would explode. At one part, this dumb niggerette (yes, that means a black woman) walks into a resteraunt, sits down with her friend, and says, "Your boy is really tripping." in the most white fatass couch potatoe construction worker voice possible. How can you be really tripping. I understood it to be, you either tripped someone, or you didn't, you can't really trip someone, or fake trip someone. Maybe it's some new "look at me I talk different because I want reperations for slavery" slang. Then when they were dancing, at two times in the movie, some faggot would jump, and when he hit the floor, THE FUCKING CAMERA WOULD SHAKE. Not a really camera shake, but the kind you see in the Hulk when he does a 2 mile jump and hits a fault line causing an earthquake. I couldn't believe my fucking eyes when I saw it, but I somehow knew that it was coming. I guess I expected the typical Hollywood hip bullshit. I should have known! I could have been doing something else, such as sticking an iron up my ass. To tell you the truth, I probably would have felt less pain with a hot metal object lodged in my anus than if I watched this shitty shitty movie. My hateful rage began to subside, until I read this review on Yahoo for the movie by some random idiot:
I jus saw tha movie You Got Severed today & tha movie waz great. It's very energetic it keepz youe energized through tha WHOLE movie it makez u start dancin in ur seat but az usual there'z a major conflict between two main characters & a typicall down fall/ sad part of the movie ..but i could watch tha movie ova & ova & ova again & not get tired of it & tha boiz look DAYMN !! FUINE In tha movie
Oh My Fucking Crap
I honestly think my heart stopped beating for about 3 minutes while I went into cardiac arrest. I was near death when I realised it is my sole duty in life to find these morons, and prevent them in any way from spreading their gene pool any further. This assclown has the vocabulary of a retarded street boxer.
Thankfully, I have found hope in humanity. The other day, Chris and I were leaving the Blockbuster parking lot, when this old lady driving a big brown van drove by (total badass van). She looked like a nice person, so I rolled down my window, and yelled "YYYYYEAEEAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA" as loud as possible waving my hand like a jackass. She then looks over at me, smiles, and starts yelling and waving her hand like a total hardass rocker. I was tormented when we drove away from her, for she is possibly the coolest human I've ever seen, and I only wish I could meet her again someday. Thank you, old lady, for showing me the light...